A few years back, my parents decided to invest in a new printer after our old one died due to old age. Their choice? The HP Envy 4502, which featured network printing support. At the time this new printer was my family's great savior, because we could finally print something over the network without having to plug it in via USB. However, this great benefit came with a great cost.
Over the years this thing went from my family's great savior to the literal spawn of Satan himself. Why, you might ask? The answer is simple: the drivers. Oh dear lord do this thing's drivers suck. There are like 3 ways to install this damn thing's drivers, and none of them work without compromise. It's like as if the people at HP contracted Satan himself to design this travesty of a driver with the sole intention of punishing the consumer.
After several instances of needing to reinstall the drivers over and over again, here are my experiences with each method I tried:
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Method #1: Install the package using the disc the printer comes with. I made sure to uncheck all of the useless features HP claims will "complete my printing experience" because I don't like my precious disk space being wasted by useless bloat. When it finished installing the drivers, it started setting up this "ePrint" thing (which I didn't ask for and didn't even get the option to turn off) and asked me how I am going to use my printer and where it's located. Why the hell should you care?! It's a printer, not a god damn GPS!! I couldn't even close out of it without using the Task Manager, because the wonderful software engineers disabled every usual method of exiting the setup. Once I finally manage to escape the useless ePrint setup with the help of my trusty Task Manager, my woes are far from over. I open my start menu and what do I see? A lovely surprise: a start menu folder just littered with useless "features" and shortcuts, much to my dismay. Take for example the "shop for printer supplies" shortcut. Why the hell do I need this? If I wanted to shop for supplies, I would go to my local grocery store or at worst look for them on Amazon. Then, it gets worse. Way worse. Every time I print something with this crap installed, I get this pop-up on my computer saying I "earned" a reward for using genuine HP ink. Yeah, thanks for reminding me that I paid way too much for something that offers way too little. Do you want some extra salt to help rub it in too? Finally, as if it couldn't get any worse, here comes the biggest crock of shit known to mankind: uninstalling this feature pack doesn't just remove the features in question, they remove the drivers as a whole along with it, just as the final middle finger to the consumer.
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Method #2: Install the drivers using Windows Settings. This would usually be a good second alternative in case the traditional drivers aren't available via HP's website anymore, but unfortunately for me this method has its own problems that I have to deal with. While most of the drivers installed fine, I immediately discovered that Windows Fax and Scan couldn't recognize the scanner portion of the printer, when it did in the past. WTF? Did the scanner just suddenly decide to change itself in such a way that Windows didn't recognize it anymore? Worse yet, when I opened my start menu, I found that HP decided to install an app called "HP Smart" onto my computer without my consent. Considering the fact that I use a version of Windows that is supposed to be bloat-free (LTSC 2019), I should not be getting this kind of crap when I install something as simple as the printer drivers. You know what would be "Smart"? Not shoving this shit down my throat!!!
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Method #3: Install the drivers manually using 7-zip and Windows' built-in driver installer. In case the consumer wants to actually control what they are actually installing, they can usually extract the barebones drivers (2-4 files most of the time) directly from the installer executable and then install it manually using the Control Panel in Windows. But not with HP, oh no. You have to copy a ridiculous number of files and folders in order for the driver to even install properly. Many are literally DLL files and are used for things other than the essentials for basic printing and scanning. The only other driver that needed me to do this was the driver for my graphics card, and that one has every reason to do that! I can not tell you how many hours I wasted at my computer trying to do this method and failing miserably each time because I didn't extract a certain DLL file that is for some reason required. Once I finally got the drivers to install properly, I then ran into the same problem I had with the scanner as I did with method #2: Windows Fax and Scan wouldn't recognize the scanner portion of the printer. I even copied the DLL files that the setup package declares as the scanner drivers. Still nothing. What the actual hell?! Does this thing have a mind of its own? If it found the driver, then why on God's green earth doesn't it use it??
I find it hilariously ironic that this product calls itself the "envy", when there is literally nothing attractive about it. In fact, I would go so far as to say that this product is quite repulsive. It's so unfriendly to anyone with a single fragment of common sense. To say I am not satisfied with this damn thing is an understatement of the century. This printer is so annoying to deal with that I actively avoid using it whenever I can just because of how obnoxiously bad it was designed. Nobody should have to do that.
TL;DR: HP's printers are absolutely terrible and do nothing but inconvenience the end user. Do not buy them unless you are a masochist who wants to endure only the most painful of experiences. Get a Epson or Brother printer if you want to do anything productive with a printer, because HP will have you angrily wasting an entire day to print something.
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